Manage conflict between athletes

Note: The following is addressed directly to athletes.

Different conflict situations require various approaches to resolving them. But the following gems will help you whenever you pull them out.

1) Remember "innocent until proven guilty." Give the other person the benefit of the doubt until all facts are collected. That will help you avoid snap judgments that can seriously damage teamwork in the long run.

2) Find the motivation. Gaining an understanding of the other person's thoughts or rationale is among the fastest ways to resolve any conflict. Taking time to "walk in the other person's shoes" will shed new light on any discussion.

3) Provide key information. If you know something the other person doesn't that affects the situation, be sure to share it. You may find a simple misunderstanding lies at the conflict's roots.

4) Attack the problem, but go easy on the person you're dealing with.

5) Find common ground. Reduce tensions by showing the other person something you share in common. If you're arguing over the best way to run a drill, you have the same goal, but you simply favor different approaches. Realizing that can smooth out differences.

6) Turn the other cheek. Never respond to a hostile remark with hostility. That only causes the argument to escalate.

7) Avoid ultimatums. They force both parties to back into corners. That makes finding a solution difficult.

8) Take responsibility. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Instead of saying "You're wrong," say "I feel I'm right on this."

9) Listen and summarize. Keep an open mind while listening. Then prove you listened by repeating back to the person - to his or her satisfaction - what you heard them say.